CHRISTIAN MONKS, MA, RCAT, RCC • REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR & ART THERAPIST
There is nothing wrong with feeling anger; it arises to alert us that something unexpected has happened, namely, things did not go the way we thought they would or should. In the absence of knowing what to do when the unexpected arises, we use anger to reassert control in relationships, which ironically, leaves us more out of control emotionally.
We can have a different relationship to anger, one that leads to genuine self-respect and to relationships that are based on trust and admiration rather than fear and resentment. During counselling sessions we will look at some of the predominant 'stories' that we tell ourselves to justify the anger: do we believe we need to be right all the time? Do we tell ourselves that the other person caused us 'to lose it'?
Learning to live with anger in healthier ways begins with taking responsibility for your actions. Counselling also addresses how to leave anger alone. While we cannot prevent anger from arising, we can control our response to it by cultivating an awareness that allows us to observe the thoughts and feelings that accompany anger without acting upon them.